


We were so sure, so innocent

by Small_bump



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-25
Updated: 2012-10-25
Packaged: 2017-11-17 00:38:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,736
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/545588
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Small_bump/pseuds/Small_bump
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When did it all stop making sense; Liam doesn’t understand</p>
            </blockquote>





	We were so sure, so innocent

And somewhere in all the talking  
The meaning faded out.  
\- A dead Language by Joy Williams 

 

_“We’ll be fine”_

 

_“Are you sure?”_

 

_“Relax, we’ll be brilliant…Don’t you trust me?”_

 

_“Of course I do”_

 

_“Then stop worrying silly”_

 

x

 

“Where are you going?” Liam asks, as Harry waltzes into the room. Liam watches as the slightly younger boy grabs his jacket from a chair, stuffing his key and wallet into his pockets. He’s wearing his signature blazer, and a pair of skinny jeans (which in his opinion are a little too tight)

 

“Out with Grimmy” Harry smiles; showing Liam his perfect white teeth.

 

Oh is all Liam thinks. In fact he isn’t even sure why there’s a tang of surprise in his voice. Of course he’s going out with Grimmy; he always goes out with radio host. Every single night. Liam tries hard to swallow the bitterness which has seeped through, as he answers “have fun”

 

“Oh I will” Harry laughs. He walks over, giving Liam a quick peek on the cheek, muttering an “I love you” before he’s out the door. And Liam sits there, in the same position, not moving as he hears the door click shut.

 

In reality he shouldn’t have been surprised. He shouldn’t have bloody asked, what did he really think Harry was going to say?

 

No, Liam shouldn’t be feeling the hurt he is now; it’s stupid of him really. It’s not like he hasn’t expected that answer, he knew what Harry’s and his relationship was by now. 

 

So Liam picks up the book, which has been sitting on his lap the whole time. His eyes gaze over the small printed front, until he’s found the spot where he’d been reading, before Harry had come in and distracted him.

 

x

 

_“Can I do something?”_

 

_“Do what Harry?”_

 

_“This”_

 

_“Wha-“_

 

_“Wow”_

 

_“Was that a good first kiss?”_

 

_“The best”_

 

x

 

Its 3am in the morning and Liam’s still awake.

 

His lying in bed on his back, the only noise that could be heard, was cars driving by. He can’t sleep, he’s not sure why. Maybe it’s because Harry’s still not back, but Liam dismisses that as the reason. Harry never comes back before 7am anyway, so Liam isn’t expecting him any time soon. Maybe he’s just nervous because their tour will start soon, that always gets Liam on edge. But again he dismisses that theory. In reality Liam knows what’s bugging him, and the very thought makes his heart clench.

 

Liam can’t stand that he’s in bed alone, again.

 

He wants to feel Harry sleeping next to him, curled into his side, arms clinging to him desperately. They used to be that way, but it’s been too long, and Liam is slowly forgetting the warm feeling that used to sit in his stomach, as he fell asleep to Harry’s heart thumping away.

 

They still make love, or fuck as Harry so cleverly likes to put it.

 

But now it’s different, it feels different. Mostly because half the time they do it, Liam is sure he can smell Grimmy’s cologne smeared all over Harry. And sometimes he wonders if Harry’s ever cheated, ever went there with the radio host.

 

He doesn’t bring it up. He never asks. Mostly because he’s scared of the answer he’d get.

 

A simple yes, would shatter his heart into a million pieces.

 

So no, he doesn’t ask, if only to save himself the pain.

 

Liam turns his head slightly so he can see the glowing numbers, which flash from the digital alarm clock.

 

3.50am and he’s still awake.

 

x

 

_“Move in with me”_

 

_“What? What about management, how would the boys take it? Are you s-“_

 

_“Liam love, stop”_

 

_“You’re laughing at me!”_

 

_“Only because I find your insane ramblings adorable”_

 

_“….”_

 

_“I’m taking that as a ‘yes Harry I’ll move in with you’”_

 

_“Prick”_

 

x

 

Just as Liam anticipates, Harry stumbles into their apartment at 7.20am the next morning. Liam’s in the kitchen, making bacon and eggs, it’s far too greasy for him, but it’s exactly what Harry needs after a full night of drinking at whatever club Grimmy has dragged him to.

 

“Had fun love?” he asks, watching Harry fall into his regular seat at the kitchen table.

 

“Loads” Harry smiles; resting his head on the wooden surface “How was your night?”

 

“Relaxing, I mostly read, than watched re runs of Eastenders on TV” he shrugs his shoulders, flipping the bacon in the pan, using a spatula.

 

Silence takes over the room, but it’s comfortable. And if there’s one thing Liam loves about their relationship is their ability to just be with each other. They don’t need to fill every second with noise, like Louis and Niall. They can be in silence, without it feeling awkward.

 

He plates the bacon and eggs, placing it in front of Harry who mutters a “thank you babe” as he digs in. He then makes both of them a cup of tea, nibbling at a slice of toast.

 

“What are your plans today?” Harry asks, stabbing a piece of bacon with his fork.

 

“Zayn said he might pop by”

 

“Great, so you won’t mind if I go round to Louis’s then?”

 

Yes, yes I mind loads! “Nope have fun babes” he sips his tea, letting the steaming hot liquid burn his throat.

 

“You’re the best you know that?”

 

Liam nods. He’s always the best and he hates it.

 

x

 

_“What are you starting at?”_

 

_“Those beautiful green eyes of yours”_

 

_“Oh Liam, you do know how to make a boy blush don’t you?”_

 

_“I’m only stating the truth...stop giggling at me!”_

 

_“I’m only giggling because of how cliché you are. But don’t worry, I love it! Now kiss me Mr. Payne”_

 

x

 

“Dump him” Zayn urges.

 

Zayn stopped by Liam’s at around 2pm. He’d dropped off Perrie at the recording studio, and thought he’d keep Liam some company. “Alone? Why am I not surprised” he had muttered as he walked through the front door.

 

“I can’t do that Zayn” Liam sighs.

 

“Why not?”

 

Liam pulls his legs up, curling tightly into himself as he sits on the couch. Why couldn’t they just go back to watching re runs of Jeremy Kyle on TV, like they had been doing twenty minutes ago? Oh right because a couple had been on the show, the case? A girl saying she could no longer stay with her boyfriend because of his partying ways. “Sounds a lot like you and Harry” Zayn had pointed out. And that was how the discussion had begun. 

 

“Because I love him”

 

“Right so because you love him, you’re going to let him treat you this way?”

 

“What way?” he asks his voice just above a whisper.

 

“Come on Liam, he goes out every night, he’s gone all throughout the day. It’s always Grimmy or Louis, but never you”

 

Liam feels tears spill down his cheeks, and curses inwardly for being such a girl “I know” he mumbles, looking down at a stain in the carpet, where Harry had once spilt wine while they were eating dinner.

 

“Then why?”

 

“I don’t know, we used to be so sure, and now everything’s gotten so messed up! And I don’t even know how it happened, one day we were fine and the next I’m sitting alone in bed, not able to sleep, wondering if my own boyfriend is having an affair with someone else” his voice, breaks, and he’s pretty sure he’s falling apart, but right now he can’t bring himself to care in the slightest.

 

“Li-“

 

“No, you’re right! The truth is he tells me he loves me, every god damn day. But somewhere along the way, it’s lost its meaning, and now I’m not sure he does anymore.” 

 

At some point during Liam’s ramblings, Zayn had pulled him into a hug. Now, he’s sitting there; in the apartment that belongs technically to Harry, crying on Zayn’s shoulder, not sure whether Harry and he would make it. 

 

x

 

_“Can I ask you something Harry?”_

 

_“Sure”_

 

_“Why do you love me?”_

 

_“Well I---You know what come with me”_

 

_“Where are we going…why are we outside on the balcony?”_

 

_“Just shut up and look at the stars, see how many there are?”_

 

_“Yes”_

 

_“You see I love you like the stars up there”_

 

_“Harry that doesn’t make any sense”_

 

_“Of course it does. The stars will never change, and even when our lives were drastically moved about by fame. They were still there, shining just as bright. I love you like I love the stars that shine down bright and give me faith that no matter what happens, they’ll always be there, and everything will somehow be okay. And you know what?”_

 

_“W-w-what?”_

 

_“I’ll always love the stars, and I’ll always love you”_

 

x

 

Zayn leaves at around 8pm, after spending most of the time there rubbing Liam’s back and telling him everything will work out for the best. After he’s left, Liam takes a warm bath, puts on one of Harry shirts, and crawls into bed, hugging Harry’s pillow for comfort.

 

He’s not sure when he fell asleep, but he’s woken up by a hard body pressed against him, nuzzling into his neck.

 

“Sorry babe I didn’t mean to wake you”

 

“No it’s fine” Liam rolls around in Harry’s arms, so he was now facing the curly haired boy.

 

“You’re home early”

 

“I missed you” Harry kisses Liam’s lips, his hand snaking around to rub the older boys back. “Louis can’t replace you”

 

“You sure?” he asks

 

“Positive”

 

They rearrange themselves, so both boys are comfortable, and slowly Liam feels Harry’s breathe even out until he’s sure the younger boy is almost asleep.

 

“Harry?”

 

Harry hums in response and Liam takes in a breath before he asks “how much do you love me?”

 

There’s silence for a moment, than Harry says “Like all the stars that shine in the sky”

 

(Can we ever go back again?) 

 

Liam isn’t entirely sure that they could ever go back to what they were before. But right here, in Harry’s arms, he isn’t ready to give up on them yet. He might be wrong, he might be right. He just hopes that sometime soon it will all start making sense.

 

And for now? He’ll take what Harry has to offer, even if it’s just a cuddle after a long hard day.

**Author's Note:**

> Feedback is always welcomed and appreciated. This story is also up on my Live Journal account, under the same user name "Small_bump"


End file.
